Official 2023 Nick Adams Fantasy Football Guide
At long last, the ultimate alpha male’s guide to the 2023 fantasy football season is finally here! Use these deeply-researched insights and you’re sure to be set on the path towards championship greatness.
Stay alpha,
Nick
Quarterbacks
Jump to: QB | RB | WR | TE | K | D/ST |
Trevor Lawrence (JAX): Urban Meyer knew what he was doing when he drafted the good-looking Trevor Lawrence #1 overall in 2021. Trevor is my preseason MVP favorite and it’s not particularly close. Lawrence has everything he needs to begin his journey to Canton. He flourished under the joint tutelage of Urban Meyer and Doug Pederson and established himself as one of the most exciting young players in the league down the stretch last season. The Jags rolled the dice and picked up Calvin Ridley last season, giving Lawrence a true #1 WR option for the first time in his young NFL career. Trevor has Jacksonville fired up and ready to make a Super Bowl run!
Daniel Jones (NYG): Danny Dimes got PAID this offseason, and if you’ve got Vanilla Vick on your fantasy roster, you will, too. Daniel Jones comes into 2023 as arguably the best dual-threat QB in the league after his stellar 2022 campaign. If you’re looking for a more cerebral version of Jalen Hurts, look no further. Jones provides a more consistent fantasy outlook than Justin Fields or Lamar Jackson due to his physical fitness and durability. Though injured for the time being, Cole Beasley will give Jones an elite #1 WR option when he takes the field. As “Selfish” Saquon Barkley gets worn down as the season progresses, the Giants will want to take advantage of Jones’ freak athleticism. I’m projecting 15-25 carries per game and 4,500+ passing yards for “Big D” Daniel Jones.
Aaron Rodgers (NYJ): The still-unvaccinated Aaron Rodgers will don a different shade of green for the first time in his career as he heads to the belly of the woke beast and suits up for the NY Jets. Under the masculine alpha leadership of Trump-disciple Robert Saleh, the Jets are Super Bowl contenders once again. Rodgers inherits a Jets offense with loads of talent but seemed immune from scoring points last season with Zach Wilson under center. The duo of A-Rod and Garrett Wilson will provide a much-needed shot in the arm for the Jets offense.
Kirk Cousins (MIN): The drippiest QB in the league is back and poised for another elite fantasy season. His top target, Adam Thielen, moved on to Carolina in the offseason, but Cousins has the type of arm talent that can make a practice squad receiver look like Jerry Rice. Elite TE TJ Hockensen will suck in some of the balls that would have gone to Thielen last year, and Justin Jefferson returns as a solid complimentary piece on the outside.
Brock Purdy (SF): Jill Biden and Roger Goodell were on hand to ensure Brock Purdy’s coming-out party in the playoffs last year came to a premature end at the hands of a tragic elbow injury. Purdy is healthy again and quickly reasserted his dominance as the team finally cut ties with mentally soft draft bust Trey Lance, shipping him off to Dallas for a measly 4th round pick. Purdy draws his inspiration from Tim Tebow and the similarities between the two are striking. The second-year QB will look to methodically pick defenses apart as he did in his rookie campaign, with an increased knowledge of Kyle Shanahan’s offense system and an even stronger relationship with Christ. Don’t miss out on Brock Purdy. Draft him EARLY!
Taysom Hill (NO): Every fantasy owner knows versatility is the most important factor at the QB position, and nobody currently on an active roster is more versatile than Taysom Hill. Think of Hill as a poor man's Tim Tebow. His ceiling may be significantly lower than Tebow’s, but his floor is much higher because Hill has yet to be blackballed. Hill will split the passing duties with future Hall of Famer Derek Carr, but that shouldn’t persuade you from nabbing the big, strong utility man from BYU.
Derek Carr (NO): The Saints struggled to find an identity in the aftermath of the Sean/Payton Drew Brees era but seem to have found a new one this offseason: Christ. 6’3”, 215 lb Derek Carr comes to New Orleans after a painful divorce from the Raiders but looks ready to lead a resurgent and Bible-centered Saints team. I’ve heard reports that church attendance across the entire Saints TV market has spiked, fueled in part by Derek Carr. Don’t be intimidated by the platoon with Taysom Hill. There will be plenty of fantasy points to go around in New Orleans.
QBs to avoid:
Anthony Richardson (IND), Jalen Hurts (PHI), Deshaun Watson (CLE), Kyler Murray (AZ), Joe Burrow (CIN), Colin Kaepernick (FA).
Sleepers:
Tim Tebow (FA), Jimmy Garapolo (LV), Malik Willis (TEN), Clayton Tune (AZ).
Players to avoid / Sleepers:
The only reason Malik Willis is considered a “sleeper” pick this year is due to Mike Vrabel’s unwillingness to face the facts and make Willis the Week 1 Starter. Ryan Tannehill went woke during the Summer of 2020 and has never recovered from it. Expect the pro-God Liberty University graduate to overtake Tannehill for the top spot by Week 5. Willis would make the perfect late round draft and stash, you will thank me later.
There are a handful of teams in the NFL with uncertainty around the Quarterback position, it’s only a matter of time before one of them signs Tim Tebow to right the ship. Stashing the God-fearing SEC Champion and Heisman Winner on your roster will be the move that saves your season come Week 15, bet on it.
This may offend some sheep, but alpha male lions aren’t concerned about the opinions of beta sheep. Jalen Hurts lacks the discipline and coaching to be an elite Quarterback in the NFL and I question whether he will still be motivated after his big pay day. Does Hurts still have the hunger and passion needed to win? I doubt it. Past coaches Lincoln Riley and Nick Saban have been known to make woke comments, has their cowardice rubbed off on Hurts? There is still too much unknown and Hurts refuses to play the game from within the pocket. Taking someone like Derek Carr or Kirk Cousins would be a much safer and more reliable option for your team.
Running Backs
Jump to: QB | RB | WR | TE | K | D/ST |
Christian McCaffrey (SF) & Kyle Juszczyk (SF): It’s impossible to talk about Christian McCaffrey without talking about his reliable and supremely talented full-back Kyle Juszczyk. If iron truly still sharpens iron in America, the 49ers will have one of the most masculine and alpha male-driven run games in league history. Don’t simply just draft Christian McCaffrey in the first round. Draft Kyle Juszczyk in the second round as well. Thank Nick Adams later.
Travis Etienne Jr. (JAX): ETN is a God-fearing alpha male who loves his country and has always stood for the National Anthem. When announcing his decision to enter the NFL Draft, Travis Etienne Jr. recognized his Creator, “First and foremost, I want to give praise and honor to the most high God.” Etienne Jr. has done this throughout his entire professional career as an athlete, and he always gives credit to God first. An alpha male always remains humble. The Clemson standout has been forged by the Christ-centered, no-nonsense alpha male coaching styles of Dabo Swinney, Urban Meyer, and Doug Pederson. When asked about ETN’s potential this season, Alpha Male Head Coach Doug Pederson gushed and said with a twinkle in his eye that he could see Travis getting more than 1,600 yards on the ground. It’s going to be a big year in Northeast Florida for football, and ETN should be a lock for stardom. Draft Travis Etienne Jr. in the first round with confidence.
Nick Chubb (CLE): Chubb is the kind of masculine workhorse back that’s rarely found in today’s limp-wristed NFL. His powerful thighs allow him to power through big, beefy defenders with ease. There’s just something deeply exciting about watching a force of nature like Nick Chubb slip out of tackles and dance around mammoth defensive linemen before overpowering smaller men in the secondary on his way into the end zone. If you want a piece of the Browns elite fantasy offense without supporting a confirmed sexual predator like Deshaun Watson, Nick Chubb is your man. If Kevin Stefanski uses him to his full potential, Chubb will be a difference-maker for your squad.
Bijan Robinson (ATL): Bijan Robinson is the kind of running back you can always count on to give God the glory after scoring a big TD. He wears #7 because it appears in the Bible over 700 times. Atlanta’s offense figures to be lackluster once again, but Robinson will be a key part of the game plan every week. I expect plenty of touches for the former Texas Longhorn. He’s a key faith leader in the locker room and will be the best athlete on the field for 90%+ of his snaps. Give Bijan prayerful consideration to be your RB1.
Jake Funk (IND): If this fundamentally sound back isn’t on your fantasy radar already, then SHAME ON YOU. While Jonathan Taylor’s greed keeps him off the field, Jake Funk’s love of the game shines through as he will take advantage of a great opportunity and steal the starting RB job in Indianapolis. Anthony Richardson will struggle to process the pro game, so I expect a lot of touches for Funk and his colleagues as the coaching staff seeks to limit turnovers with their rookie QB. Colts insiders tell me he’s the first man in the building and last man out. His work ethic has set him on the path to becoming Jonathan Taylor’s heir-apparent. Lesser-educated analysts may cap Funk’s fantasy potential in the RB3 range, but Nick Adams projects he will be a top 10 fantasy back this season.
RBs to avoid:
Joe Mixon (CIN), Alvin Kamara (NO), Saquon Barkley (NYG), Kareem Hunt (FA).
Sleepers:
James Conner (AZ), Aaron Jones (GB), Tony Pollard (DAL).
Players to avoid / Sleepers:
Joe Mixon, Alvin Kamara, and Kareem Hunt should all be in prison cells, NOT NFL locker rooms. Abusers. Criminals. Thugs. They don’t deserve to be honored with a spot on your fantasy football roster. In addition to their love for crime and sin, all three hoodlums are in the declining parts of their careers and have had regular injury problems. Steer clear!
Aaron Jones has always been one of my favorite underrated alpha males in the NFL. After being overlooked in the 2017 NFL Draft, Jones blossomed under the guidance of unvaccinated alpha male Aaron Rodgers. When you consider the fact that Jones is the son of two US Army officers and has always stood for the National Anthem, he’s a clear homerun selection. Stand strong with Aaron Jones and you will be rewarded big in 2023.
Wide Receivers
Jump to: QB | RB | WR | TE | K | D/ST |
Cooper Kupp (LAR): Even when banged up, Cooper Kupp is the most electrifying receiver in the league. He’s WR1 when healthy and will have a chip on his shoulder coming off an injury-riddled and disappointing 2022 season. He’s been seeing his pastor as often as the medical staff and his recovery has been a mainstay of my daily prayers. Even if he misses a game or two, I project Kupp’s 2023 season will look a LOT like his record-shattering 2021 campaign.
Ja’Marr Chase (CIN): I’ve been hearing rumors for a LONG time now that President Trump gave Ja’Marr Chase the brilliant advice to sit out his final year at LSU in preparation for the NFL Draft. Much like President Trump’s decision to skip the 2024 GOP Debates, Chase was already a champion and had little left to prove to NFL scouts. The decision ended up paying dividends for Chase, who is now rightfully considered a Top 5 Wide Receiver in the league on his way to a massive payday – clearly someone read “Art of the Deal” more than once. I believe President Trump and Ja’Marr Chase bonded over their passion for deal-making during LSU’s visit to the White House, and I would not be surprised if the President still remains in contact with Chase as a mentor. I would draft Ja’Marr with confidence this year, Trump only backs winners.
Chris Olave (NO): Olave is gearing up for an All-Pro effort on the heels of his fantastic rookie season. He’s fully supplanted the woke and injury-prone Michael Thomas as the top dog in the receiver room and will be even more productive with better QB play. Only a fool would pass on drafting Derek Carr and Taysom Hill’s top option.
Adam Thielen (CAR): I’ll admit, I wasn’t very high on Bryce Young heading into the draft. I don’t have much faith in him to come up big against tall odds when the stakes get high, but I DO have faith in Adam Thielen. The Panthers shipped out their top receiver, DJ Moore, when they traded for the #1 overall pick to draft Young. But Carolina still managed to upgrade the position by picking up the wily veteran Adam Thielen. I expect Thielen will take the young pup QB under his wing and bring him into manhood off the field while bailing him out on the field with his reliable hands and precise route-running.
Calvin Ridley (JAX): There are a lot of risky plays out there this season in fantasy football – so much sin and debauchery has permeated our society in Joe Biden’s America. With all of that being said, I consider Calvin Ridley to be the safest of bets. It’s not a gamble to draft a wideout who can run 22 miles per hour and will be sucking in balls delivered from 6’6” alpha male phenom Trevor Lawrence. When you pair a masculine alpha male quarterback who loves God with a hungry alpha male beast wide receiver, what do you get? Records, Titles, Victories, and Foursomes at TPC Sawgrass (never underestimate the advantage of having foursomes 12 months out of the year). The future is bright in Jacksonville – don’t be afraid to bet BIG on Calvin Ridley.
Justin Jefferson (MIN): Some alpha males are born alpha, others are forged by other alpha males. In the case of Justin Jefferson, he was forged by some of the most respected and treasured alpha males in sports history. Coming out of high school, Justin Jefferson was a 3-star prospect and considered the 308th best wide receiver prospect in his recruiting class – not very alpha. It was Coach Ed Orgeron who found Jefferson and instilled in him an appreciation for hard work, Jesus Christ, the Bible, and President Trump. This was a dynamic formula for Jefferson, who immediately blossomed into one of the top alpha male wide receivers in college football. Since entering the NFL, Jefferson has been blessed to catch balls from alpha male and future Hall of Famer Kirk Cousins. When God and President Trump are on your side, things just go your way. Drafting Justin Jefferson this season isn’t just about winning. It’s about showing your opponents that you won’t bow down to the woke mob.
Alec Pierce (IND): The dashing Colts receiver is poised for a breakout sophomore campaign. Despite the shaky QB room, Pierce will still get a girthy number of targets and provide dependable production. Pierce is the product of a legendary line of alpha males, having played his college ball for Luke Fickell at Cincinnati. Fickell learned the coaching craft from Jim Tressel and Urban Meyer, winning national titles in 2002 and 2014 at The Ohio State University. I expect Pierce to lean on the lessons of these giants of the game as he takes the next step in his promising young career.
WRs to avoid:
Tyreek Hill (MIA), Davante Adams (LV), Deandre Hopkins (TEN).
Sleepers:
Braxton Berrios (MIA), Hunter Renfrow (LV), Charlie Jones (CIN).
Players to avoid / Sleepers:
DeAndre Hopkins was on the road to Canton, Ohio when his career was derailed by his own woke and thuggish behavior. We all remember watching the once prominent Wide Receiver give a bus of patriotic Trump supporters the middle finger. We all remember hearing the reports about Hopkins taking steroids. We all remember watching the greedy and selfish Hopkins hold out for more money. Can an alpha male coach like Mike Vrabel save DeAndre’s career? I wouldn’t count on it with woke BLM lover Ryan Tannehill throwing him passes.
I’ve heard rumors from reliable sources that Defensive Coordinators across the NFL are desperately trying to game plan for Hunter Renfrow this season. The Clemson standout has been overlooked by the woke sports media his entire career, but coaches across the league understand and respect his value. The lack of other playmakers in the Las Vegas Raiders offense is the only concern as Renfrow will have to overcome double teams on a regular basis.
Tight Ends
Jump to: QB | RB | WR | TE | K | D/ST |
Travis Kelce (KC): Travis Kelce is a 6’5” 255 lb TANK, an indestructible and masculine mammoth with supreme amounts of confidence and charisma. I have no doubt the legendary tight end has a tour stiff shaft in his driver and hits the golf ball over 300 yards on a regular basis. Travis Kelce would make an excellent addition to any alpha male foursome, especially if you’re playing a scramble. Every single Par 5 would be reachable in 2 shots with Kelce anchoring your foursome. I can’t imagine a man with more power to thrust his hips forward and through to his target. Kelce will take any team to its climax. For these reasons and these reasons only, I believe Travis Kelce is a LOCK to finish first in every statistical category for tight ends.
TJ Hockenson (MIN): With top wideout Adam Theilen out the door, Hockensen will also be the beneficiary of increased targets from the drippiest QB in the NFC North, Kirk Cousins. You’ll benefit from having Hockensen’s gritty and contagious work ethic on your squad. Hockensen is in a league of his own in terms of fantasy potential, behind only the powerful and agile Travis Kelce.
Cole Kmet (CHI): Kmet is a political science major from Notre Dame whose love for the game is dwarfed only by his love of country. Off the field, he’s a known admirer of Senator Rand Paul and Tucker Carlson and fills his free time with the boys on the golf course. Kmet is a guy who knows how to get open in the flat but still remembers to close his face on the downswing. Justin Fields has spent this offseason deep in prayer and is poised to take the next step with Cole Kmet as his security blanket. Give Kmet a look in the mid-rounds.
Dalton Kincaid (BUF): Since losing Cole Beasley, the Bills have been in need of a true deep threat. They found one on draft day in Dalton Kincaid. The rookie from Utah has big hands, just like his quarterback, and uses them to suck in balls from every angle when matched up against smaller men. Kincaid will be a big part of a productive Bills offense in 2023.
Taysom Hill (NO): Next to Tim Tebow, Taysom Hill might be the most undervalued dual threat in NFL History. At just 4 years and $40 million, the New Orleans Saints were left a STEAL of a going away present from Sean Payton in Hill. Being able to play Taysom at multiple positions makes him one of the most valuable players in any league format. I don’t feel good about drafting Taysom Hill in the first round, I feel great about drafting Taysom Hill first overall.
George Kittle (SF): Iowa is a red state, and that bodes well for George Kittle’s health. I expect Brock Purdy will feed Kittle early and often since San Francisco’s only offensive weak spot looks to be the receiving corps. Kittle plays the game the right way, and his love of the game will never be questioned.
TEs to avoid:
Zach Ertz (AZ), Kyle Pitts (ATL), David Njoku (CLE).
Sleepers:
Hunter Henry (NE), Tim Tebow (FA), Pat Freiermuth (PIT).
Players to avoid / Sleepers:
Zach Ertz is a woke piece of garbage. There is no other way to say it. His professional soccer playing wife kneeled for the National Anthem and Ertz praised her for the decision. A real man would have filed for a divorce. Ertz criticized President Trump several times and even refused to visit the White House after being the beneficiary of Nick Foles’ Super Bowl win. Don’t draft Ertz unless you enjoy soy in your coffee and hate America.
I question whether Kyle Pitts or David Njoku love the game of football and have the passion to play it the right way. Both are freakish athletes who have been hyped for years by scouts, yet the production has not been there. What is holding them back? Most likely a lack of passion and work ethic. Steer clear and play it safe with masculine hard workers like Taysom Hill or Tim Tebow.
Kickers
Jump to: QB | RB | WR | TE | K | D/ST |
Evan McPherson (CIN): McPherson will be expected to do a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to putting points on the board with Woke Burrow under center and wanted criminal Joe Mixon running the ball in Cincinnati. The Bengals kicker will lean HEAVILY on his faith in Christ this season, and the former Florida Gator kicker is likely more fired up than ever after Netflix’s Swamp Kings documentary featuring Urban Meyer and Tim Tebow.
Harrison Butker (KC): One of the most principled Christians in the league is also a stalwart champion of medical freedom. Harrison Butt-Kicker is a two-time Super Bowl champion for a reason and will be a fantasy stud once again.
Graham Gano (NYG): Danny Dimes will get Gano into prime position to use his muscular right leg to thrust the ball through the uprights. Gano is a patriotic Christian who is STILL standing with Chick-fil-A and a reliable fantasy option.
Mason Crosby (FA): Another draft and stash STEAL is Mason Crosby. Mason has been one of the best kickers in the league for nearly two decades and relies on God to get him through the rigors of an NFL season, saying, “I think He helps me knowing that kicking is what I do, not who I am. It's not everything that I am. I can escape knowing that my relationship with Christ is what carries me. I'm always reading in the Proverbs and Psalms to relax my mind before we play. I know that God cares for me all the time regardless of any outcome here.” He’s sure to get a call from an NFL team as soon as the first XP of the season is missed wide left.
Jason Sanders (MIA): An avid golfer and passionate supporter of American military veterans, Sanders is a strong option if you miss out on the top kicking options. Sanders will be expected to have a strong season behind the electric Dolphins offense led by QB Tua Tagovailoa, best known for his enthusiastic selfie with President Trump following his national championship-winning 2019 season at Alabama.
Sleepers:
Chris Boswell (PIT), Tyler Bass (BUF).
Kickers to avoid:
Justin Tucker (BAL), Younghoe Koo (ATL).
Players to avoid / Sleepers:
Justin Tucker has been holding back the Baltimore Ravens for YEARS with his woke propaganda. I’ve heard from reliable sources that Tucker is a cancer in the locker room with his constant need to make everything political. Rumors have been circulating about an alleged shouting match between patriotic alpha male Lamar Jackson and Tucker over whether they can “Truzzzz Trump.” If the Ravens don’t trade or release Tucker, I would expect the overpaid and antifa loving kicker to be too distracted by 47’s return to make kicks at a high percentage rate.
Defense/Special Teams
Jump to: QB | RB | WR | TE | K | D/ST |
Washington Redskins: Jack Del Rio is as motivated as ever on the heels of the unjust persecution of President Trump. Look for a spirited performance out of his unit when the ‘Skins travel to Atlanta on October 15th. Del Rio will want to send a message to corrupt prosecutor Fani Willis and RINO Governor Brian Kemp.
San Francisco 49ers: Nick Bosa’s holdout is the biggest question mark for this squad. But once the pro-Trump pass rusher returns with a record-setting contract extension in hand, the 49ers will be chasing opposing QBs with the vigor that San Francisco should be using against the homeless crackheads that have overwhelmed a formerly-beautiful American city.
Dallas Cowboys: MAGA Micah Parsons leads a tough and masculine Cowboys unit whose only flaw is its massively overrated and overpaid CB1, Trevon Diggs. Parsons will cover up Diggs’ many flaws with his speedy penetration of offensive lines. Even the best of passers won’t be able to cook Trevon Diggs with MAGA Parsons jumping on their backs.
New York Jets: President Trump had immense praise for Jets HC Robert Saleh, likening him to the great Vince Lombardi. Expectations are high heading into this season after Saleh’s stellar 2022 breakout season was hampered by an incompetent offense. Aaron Rodgers will take pressure off the defense and allow them to play with no fear. President Trump is all-in on the Jets this year, and so is Nick Adams!
Miami Dolphins: Vic Fangio brings a jolt of testosterone and a stellar resume to a Dolphins defense that struggled in 2022. Educated football fans will remember Fangio’s refusal to wear a mask brought the woke mob out in force against Fangio back in 2020. He will feel right at home in President Trump’s backyard and will be able to focus even more on football after his recent divorce. I’ve heard reports out of camp that solidarity with President Trump brought the team even closer together and has them more motivated than EVER. Don’t sleep on the Dolphins!
Sleepers:
Steelers, Chargers, Ravens, Jaguars.
Defenses to avoid:
Eagles, Browns, Rams.
Players to avoid / Sleepers:
The Cleveland Browns and Philadelphia Eagles are on the same boat this season. Far-left cities overrun by crime and drugs. Defensive rosters filled with possible criminals and thugs. I wouldn’t trust either of these Defensive rosters, they lack the leadership, passion, and discipline necessary to win at the highest level.
If alpha male TJ Watt can stay healthy this season, expect big numbers from the Pittsburgh Steelers defense. When the former Wisconsin Badger is on the field, Pittsburgh’s defense is one of the top 5 in the NFL. When the alpha male is off the field, Pittsburgh’s defense is average. It’s amazing how many teams are 100% reliant on their masculine pro-God alpha male players to succeed. Good things happens when you play the game the right way and accept Jesus Christ into your heart.
